I had a dream last night that I was lost. I was on a path and there were forks in the road, and I had no idea which way to go. There were people in the dream pointing here and there, but I didn’t know if I could trust them. I think this is a true dream. I am a little lost these days, shifting gears, trying new things, not knowing if they are right for me. These are the choices before me today—doing a website, doing a blog, writing a novel, designing a greeting card or a tea towel or a candle. The fact of my life is, I can’t do EVERYTHING. I have to choose. And it’s not just a choice of what to do today, but it’s a choice of what matters most to me. What I keep in my life. And what I have to let go of.
I don’t remember how the dream turned out. Bummer. Sometimes, it feels like there are answers right on the edge of your consciousness, but you just can’t reach them. But, a good thing about my life lately is, I have to write a blog on Monday mornings. I have to find a page out of one of my own books, and read it, write about it. So, this practice forces me to search inside myself for my own answers.
So, this morning, I was paging around, looking for something to guide me. I like signs. I believe in them. I think things APPEAR to you when you most need them. I read this little essay which I wrote for my son. You know how you want the best for your kids—how you’re always telling them, “Do what you love.”? How they always looks at you like, THAT’S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!”
But this little essay is not so much about doing what you love as it is taking a step toward what you love. Which is different. Everyone can take a step. So, today, I’m taking a step. This is not to say that I still won’t be lost. I may very well be. But, I’ll be one step closer to what I love. Which, I believe, is a step in the right direction.